My story: Ever since I was I was a little girl, I remember feeling the sense of something being off in my body, my heart beating out of body, my chest tightened, my hands shaking. I never knew what this feeling was and ultimately, I thought I was dying. While being this young and at the time, anxiety was never talked about, so myself and my family had no clue as to what was going on. I carried through feeling this way most of my childhood and just dealt with it. I was still a bright outgoing child that seemed so full of light and possibilities.
Middle school introduced a period of intense bullying. This was a time marked by isolation, malicious rumours, cyberbullying, and physical intimidation. The torment was relentless, casting a shadow over my formative years. Anxiety consumed me to the point where attending school became unbearable, forcing me into a year-long hiatus. I sought solace in the darkness and isolating myself from everyone and everything.
Transitioning to high school, I was a faint reflection of who I once was. I was unrecognizable even to those closest to me. Desperate to escape the turmoil within, I turned to self-harm as a means of coping, I just wanted out of my skin. I eventually sought professional help, this resulted in a diagnosis including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, panic disorder, and other conditions.
My doctor swiftly prescribed medications, immediately putting me into a cycle of SSRIs and potent benzodiazepines like Valium. While these drugs provided temporary relief, they left me feeling like a hollow shell, devoid of vitality at such a young age. Moreover, they unknowingly had paved the way for substance abuse, culminating in a downward spiral of dependency. Looking back at this, I can’t believe I was thrown onto such strong medications that can be abused at such a young age with no knowledge of the risks. While being on these medications, yes it helped the day to day feeling of anxiety, but I wasn’t really taught why I was feeling this way in the first place or how to naturally help myself first. I started to hate the way the SSRI’s made me feel, so this begun a cycle of “try this one” “how about we start on this” and this cycle continued for years. While being on Valium, this opened up a door for me craving certain types of feelings, or constantly needing to be medicated and numb. This is where my substance abuse had begun. About 3 years of this, I had an awakening after refusing to truly help myself. I woke up and realized I cannot live like this. So, I had gotten sober, and took myself off all medications. Healing in a natural way: In tenth grade, I discovered an alternative high school and decided to transfer. This new environment had smaller class sizes and more individualized attention from teachers, which helped me find my stride academically. One unexpected benefit was the availability of a yoga class, which I began attending without fully grasping its potential impact on my life. It turned out to be the catalyst for a journey of self-discovery, where I delved into my past traumas, learned how to heal both physically and emotionally, and embraced natural coping mechanisms. For once, without having to be on a medication, I found relief and comfort. While practicing and being on my mat, a lot of the time it led to shedding tears as I was allowing the trapped emotions to be released in a healthy, positive way. I was finally holding space for myself and my feelings, without running from them. I was grounded. My yoga teacher (bless her soul) played a pivotal role in guiding me through this transformative process. I probably wouldn’t be writing this now if I hadn’t crossed paths with her, so if you happen to be reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am forever grateful. One phrase my teacher would often say that resonated deeply with me: "notice what you are feeling but do not attach to it." This became my mantra, guiding me to acknowledge my emotions without letting them overpower me. I would notice every feeling but not let my mind wander too much over it, I would release it as we would practice. Through yoga, breath work, meditation, and mindfulness, I learned to harness the innate power of my body and mind to navigate through life's challenges.
Breath work:
You see, we have these lungs that are capable of holding so much, but do we truly breathe as much as we should everyday? Engaging in intentional breathing exercises can have profound effects on reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation. By focusing on the breath, you can activate the body's relaxation response, calming the nervous system and quieting the mind. Here are some techniques to try:
Deep belly breathing: Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your abdomen to expand fully. Exhale slowly through your mouth, releasing tension with each breath. This diaphragmatic breathing technique promotes relaxation and increases oxygen flow throughout the body.
Box breathing: This technique involves inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling, and holding again, each for a set count of seconds. The rhythmic pattern of box breathing helps to synchronize breath and calm the mind, making it an effective tool for managing anxiety.
Alternate nostril breathing: By alternating between breathing through the left and right nostrils, you can balance the flow of energy in the body and promote a sense of calm and balance. This ancient yogic practice is known to soothe the nervous system and enhance mental clarity.
Mindfullness:
Mindfulness involves cultivating present-moment awareness and non-judgmental acceptance of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your experiences without getting caught up in them, thus reducing anxiety and increasing resilience. Here are some ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life:
Mindful breathing: Bring your attention to the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your body. Notice the rise and fall of your chest or the sensation of air passing through your nostrils. Whenever your mind wanders, gently guide your attention back to the breath, anchoring yourself in the present moment.
Body scan meditation: Take a few moments to systematically scan your body from head to toe, noticing any areas of tension or discomfort. As you bring awareness to each part of your body, allow yourself to relax and release any tension you may be holding onto.
Mindful walking: Take a leisurely stroll outdoors, paying close attention to the sensations of each step. Notice the feeling of your feet making contact with the ground, the sounds of nature around you, and the sensations of the air against your skin. Allow yourself to fully immerse in the present moment, letting go of any distractions or worries.
When anxiety strikes, our minds can spiral, fueling impulses and self-doubt. By acknowledging our feelings and choosing not to dwell on them, we can prevent harmful habits from taking hold. Recognizing our triggers helps us avoid them in the future, fostering mindfulness and healthier responses. Meditation:
Meditation is a practice of cultivating inner peace, clarity, and emotional balance through focused attention and mental discipline. By regularly engaging in meditation, you can train your mind to become more resilient to stress and anxiety. Here are some meditation techniques to explore:
Guided meditation: Follow along with a guided meditation audio or video, which will lead you through various relaxation exercises, visualization techniques, and mindfulness practices. Guided meditations are especially helpful for beginners, as they provide structure and support for your practice.
Loving-kindness meditation: This practice involves cultivating feelings of compassion, love, and goodwill towards yourself and others. Start by silently repeating phrases such as "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I be at ease," extending these wishes outward to loved ones, acquaintances, and even those you may have difficulty with.
Body scan meditation: Similar to the mindfulness body scan, body scan meditation involves systematically bringing awareness to each part of your body, but with a focus on relaxation and releasing tension. As you scan through each area, imagine sending a wave of relaxation and warmth to soothe any areas of discomfort or tension.
Quick Remedies for Acute Anxiety:
In addition to these practices, here are some of my go to remedies for moments of acute anxiety:
Child's pose: This yoga position triggers the body's parasympathetic response, helping to regulate the fight or flight reaction.
Rebounding: Bouncing in place, even while shaking hands, releases endorphins, dissipating pent-up energy and promoting relaxation.
Essential Oils: Lavender oil, a longtime companion since age 16, offers calming effects. I personally apply it on my temples and back of my neck. Incorporating it with meditation and breath work enhances its soothing benefits.
Journaling: Putting down thoughts can be remarkably effective in decluttering the mind and alleviating anxiety. Though not for everyone, it's worth a try to externalize and manage inner turmoil.
Feet up on a wall: Recline on your bed or floor, and prop your feet against a wall for a couple of minutes. This simple posture eases tension, improves blood circulation, and promotes relaxation.
Cold showers: While initially discomforting, immersing yourself in cold water, whether in the shower or bath or even just dunking your face in a bowl of ice cold water, can lower cortisol levels, thus reducing stress.
Herbal Teas: Sipping on herbal teas like chamomile and Valerian root can be comforting during anxious moments. These teas, along with peppermint, lavender, lemon balm, and blue lotus tea where regulated, are known to have calming properties that aid in relaxation and sleep.
While these strategies may offer temporary relief, I acknowledge that everyone's journey towards healing is unique, and seeking professional guidance is paramount. Medication does have its place!
My journey has taught me that true healing comes from within. Through yoga, breath work, meditation, and mindfulness, I've learned to navigate my anxiety with courage and grace. While anxiety may never fully dissipate, I've come to terms with its presence in my life and learned to adapt accordingly. To anyone struggling with anxiety, know that you're not alone and you are simply human, navigating the complexities of mental health. Reach out, seek support, and explore different avenues of healing.
Remember, you're more than your anxiety—you're resilient, worthy of love, and capable of finding peace within yourself. May this post serve as a light of hope, reminding you that healing is possible, one breath at a time. (Note: While I speak from personal experience, I am not a professional or a doctor. Please consult with a healthcare provider for personalized guidance.)
Be well.
Love & light always,
Sare xx
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